Greetings once again! Well, as my business associate Senior Pickles (pronounced PEE-kers) mentioned in his last blog, Pickles Parents welcome new Governor , the Punch Brothers Big Time World Tour 2009© is well underway. We're having a great time out here in the sweet, sunny South playing music for the fine folks and enjoying the many spoils of the road. But before we get too far into 2009, I'd like to share some of the finer moments of the Punch Brothers: The World and Elsewhere Tour 2008® in a blog entitled

Punch Brothers 2008 Year in Review: The Road©®™

Maine in February

In a stroke of sheer brilliance, we decided to begin the US leg of our "The World and Elsewhere" tour in the Great Atlantic North East, in February. Being from Southern California I was especially excited about the idea seeing as how all the sunshine and warmth I had been experiencing that winter was really starting to do a number on my emotional well-being. So we set out to the far reaches of the map and wound up in Maine. And beautiful it was...

As one does while traveling to places far and wide, I took a few moments to learn about the local culture, which to my surprise, had a lot to do with Lobsters. Huh, who knew....

I liked this dude so much I had my picture taken with him...

One of my Big Time™ friends in the band noted a striking similarity between us and said that if this whole music thing didn't work out, I could probably become a fisherman...

Ehh... Better stick with the fiddle...

The other fellows found ways to amuse themselves as well.

Mr. Thile took to studying models of the great lighthouses of the Atlantic coastline

Greg honed his interpretive dance routine entitled "Ode to Monkeys in a Barrel"

(I think he's finally starting to get somewhere with it here)

Critter, in keeping with article 3 of his 1987 Treatise: My New Years Resolutions, in which he vowed to try every snack ever made in the "Grab Bag" variety, was rewarded with a tasty treat reserved for only the most dedicated of seekers...

Burger King Ketchup & Fries

Let's take a closer look, shall we?...

Despite a unanimous vote by the rest of us to definitely NOT ingest the contents of that bag, Critter, with his exceptional code of ethics, just couldn't forsake his 21 year commitment and proceeded to devour every last potato flavored morsel. When asked how they were, he replied "it taste just like it sounds....... delicious."

Pickles continued his never ending commitment to "celebrate" the most celebration-worthy member of Punch Brothers...

This particular "celebration" probably had something to do with "someones" affinity for cuddly woodland creatures ...

I, however, had no time to partake in such tomfoolery. I spent my time trying to dig us out of our cabin so we could continue with the tour...

Not bad for a California Boy.

Critter-Like-a-Pork ©2008

Stranger Than Fiction

Have I ever told you about the time Hole¹ showed up with a new friend he made at a late night truck stop on the road somewhere between Greensboro and Asheville, NC.

Now, when we're traveling on one of them big ol' fancy tour-busses I have no problem letting a stowaway crash the party for a few days, but seeing as how we were in a van at the time, adding another body didn't really seem like a good idea. But when pressed on the issue, Hole said that he wouldn't go even one step further without his monkey. They were in love.

I knew this monkey was big trouble. I could see it in its cold, lifeless, button eyes

but i let it slide. Who am I to stand in the way of true love?

things were cool at first. the monkey was easy enough to get along with, and it kept Hole in good spirits, which is always a good thing, but I knew things were headed in the wrong direction when the monkey began insisting it speak to management on Thile's behalf.

One time, when the monkey thought I had dozed off, I overheard it trying to convince Hole to let it be our new manager so they could fire the band and realize their dreams of staging Bed-In's and making avant-gard Primal Monkey Scream records.

One morning I came down to find the monkey in the drivers seat of our van and our beloved sound engineer/designated driver, Dave "Sinky-Sy" Sinko, standing in front of the hotel lobby, bags packed, with a Greyhound ticket in hand.

Needless to say, the Judge had to lay down the law. The monkey had to go.

It was a sad day for Mr. Speedhole...

but really, what do you expect from a truck stop monkey.

1. Hole: noun. Slang for Speedhole ² Back to story

2. Speedhole: noun. slang for Chris Thile. Refers to the holes designed into Wegan picks to provide extra traction between the thumb and forefinger. Clinical trials performed by Chris Thile in 2004 also demonstrate that the holes drastically reduce wind resistance on the plectrum at speeds of 180 bpm and higher.

Oh, The World Owes Me a Livin' ©2008

Close, but No Sick-Car

Here we are driving up to the Telluride Bluegrass Festival

This is about as much of the countryside we get to experience on the road

Beautiful, none the less... right Hole??

... but wait! What's this I see??

....Could it be???

YES!! The Oscar Mayer Weiner mobile, aka the future Punch Brothers touring vehicle!!! How sick would it be to roll from town to town in a giant hotdog? And we all know how the ladies would flock, like the salmon to the San Juan Capistrano... Needless to say Pickles was down.

In a daring attempt to sequester the rolling weenie, we tried to get the driver to pull over, but he wasn't having it... I imagine that wasn't the first time someone has tried to commandeer his vehicle. I don't blame the guy though, you just don't let a babe magnet like that go without a fight.

Goodby, weenie mobile.... For now...

Play the Melody on the Second String with Your Thumb ©2008

Photo Essay: It's Best Not to Get Into the Psychology of It ©2008

STOP!! ... Critter time.

Being a professional musician means making sacrifices. Especially when it comes to your personal life. When the rest of the world is enjoying some time off we're usually just going to work. Too many times we've spent important holidays and momentous occasions in worn out hotel rooms with nothing but network television specials and a few mass text messages to keeps us company. So this year, when Critter's birthday came around, we decided to go all out. We had a cake made

(disclaimer: This is in no way meant to insult the mentally handicapped, whose mental function, rest assured, is much higher than the collective cognitive ability of all the members of the band)

AND got him presents...

Pop Rocks and a Pickle. What else can a man ask for??
Um..how about a knife to cut his birthday cake with? (told you we were high functioning )

Once again, Sinky-Sy saves the day with his trusty Leatherman and his MacGyver-like aptitude for problem solving.

But the real triumph of the night was arranging for Critter's absolute favorite artist, Josh Groban, to put on a live concert, via satellite, in honor of Critter's 26th birthday.

Look how spellbound he is!!

And, honestly, who wouldn't be ?? Even the stone-hearted Mr. Speedy von Hole-Hole couldn't help but succumb to the Grobester's captivating charm.

But I think the best part of the night was the rendition of "Islands in the Stream" the Grobanator sang just for Critter.

Heavenly...

Happy 26th Birthday, Critter.

Love,

Punch Brothers (and The Grobe)

...But I'm Big In Japan ©2008

UK 2.0

Here we are in London, loading up our trusty van Xplorador's European counterpart, Xplourador.

Looks like we're moving up in the world...

Awww, yeah. Straight flossin' , son!

We have a table and everything...

As you all know, the stylish Mr. Hole is the fashionista of the band, taking great pride in being at the forefront of a movement to present a more refined and cultivated face to the Bluegrass-classical-chamber-hillwilliam-emo-post apocalyptic-hard-core-folkish-rockish mandolin scene. While we were in England he decided he wanted to step it up a notch, so he enlisted the talents of fashion guru Chris Eldridge to help him create a unique style, all his own. The following sequence of photographs is a tour-de-force of cutting edge fashion showcasing the genius that is Critter.

The Prisoner:

The Höhlenkopf Collection:

The George Washington:

Perfection.

Photo Essay: The Road is Hard ©2008

Memories of Texas

Punch Brothers finally made it to Texas in the fall of 2008. Among the many colorful characters we ran across, none was more colorful than Barbara, the main server at a small roadside cafe on the outskirts of Dallas. When she came up to take our order, before she even asked how we'all were doing, she went on a supercharged rant about terrorists and The Aye-rabs and various other sensitive political issues best reserved for a less public arenas. Once she had achieved maximum awkwardness, she ended her rant with a good ol' Tejas "I'm just yanking your chain, ya'll!! What would ya like for breakfast?"

She got us good. But then again, we should have known. I think the picture speaks for itself.

One of my other favorite Texas incidents happened when Pickles, out of the corner of his eye, spotted his namesake in the form of a fine drinking establishment while we were driving to the hotel.

Now, in order to understand the full extent of the situation we found ourselves in, you need to know a little inside info. Although the spelling of the name "Pickles" has remained constant, the pronunciation has undergone several metamorphoses. Over time "Pickles" became "PEEK-airs", sort of a bastardized imitation of a french accent, a la Inspector Jacques Clouseau. From "PEEK-airs" we derived "Pick-ers", and then "PEE-kers" (yes, these are the things that the road does to you ). So naturally, when we spotted the sign for this particular establishment, our minds immediately registerd it as an alternate spelling of the most recent incarnation of "Pickles" pronunciation³.

We thought it so hilarious that we parked the car to snap a few photos and have a drink inside.

But upon getting a closer look at the sign, the mascot painted upon it, and the sudden realization that the guy to girl ratio inside the bar was 43: 0, we put two and two together and realized that "Pekers" was definitely not an alternate spelling of "Pickles", but a very clear reference to something else entirely... Not that there's anything wrong with that.

(Note: You should give us credit for effortlessly finding one of the 3 gay bars in all of Texas. That's like running into Gretchen Wilson at the Smithsonian...)

3. Since these photo were taken, pronunciation of "Pickles" has advanced to "Pigmo", "Pig-a-mo", "PEEgamo" (like Figaro, Figaro, Figaro), and "Pigamuffin". Return to story

Lil' Guy's All Tuckerd Out ©2008

It's Not All Hard Work

Every now and again we get lucky enough to have a day off when the Cubs are playing. About once a year we get lucky enough to have a day off in the TOWN where the Cubs are playing. And on those days we go to the game. This was that day.

We got to watch one of the best rivalries in baseball: Cubs @ St. Louis. In true PB fashion, Hole and Pickles made sure we got there 3 hours early, you know, just to make sure we didn't miss anything.

We were having a great time until Hole and Anti-Hole, aka. Pigamo (did you know they were born one week apart?!) started an argument over which Muppet the other resembles most that nearly escalated to a death match. The quarrel got so heated that I decided to watch the game from the other side of the stadium.

Ahhh, much better....

But all was forgiven and forgotten when the Cubs beat the Cards in the final moments of the game. Happy time .

Not So Epic Epilogue

Well, friends and neighbors. That concludes the Punch Brothers 2008 Year in Review, the parts I can tell you about anyway. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed living it. We'll see you in 2009.

Court is adjourned.

Sincerely,

The Judge

p.s. Critter says bye too